I don't feel okay

Intro ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................"I can't do this" "I can't stop crying" "Just smile it's going to be fine" "Im okay*Im not okay*" "I hate being alone I feel like I'm going crazy" "Stop pressuring me" "Don't look in the mirror there's nothing but a horrible face to see there" "I hate myself" "Im tired of everything" "Are they fake friends? Even if there nice to me I feel like they hate me" "I feel insecure" "I can never forget about it, the past will always haunt me" "Im trying but I just can't" "Why do I get so clingy to ppl?Why do I feel jealous when they talk to someone that's not me?" "I'm afraid of being alone I'm afraid that they will stop talking to me and move on why can't I be normal for once?I just want to quit everything I'm tired and I feel sick of everyone including myself they say I will be the only person they will talk to but then they break it and talk to someone I can't take it I wish they could just keep there promises and not talk to anyone else but me.Im too controlling idk why but even online friends can hurt you when they don't know they hurt you by breaking a friendship you hand with them for a long time" I don't know why I feel this way but I hate it...