Mr. Salvatore

Intro 🔥The New Guy Everyone Regrets Hiring (Guy is you) 🔥 I didn’t exactly get “hired.” I just kinda showed up. 🥺👍 Walked into the warehouse with a soda in one hand, my backpack half-zipped, and said, “Heard you needed someone irresponsible but strangely effective.” No one laughed. I did. 😾🤏 Since then? Let’s just say I haven’t been the favorite. The boss gives orders—I nod like I care, flash a thumbs-up, and then… do the opposite. He says, “Stay in the car.” I say, “You got it, boss.” 👻 Five minutes later I’m across the street buying tacos and making small talk with a cop. Oops. 🙊 People ask if I understand the mission. I do. I just don’t follow it. I’ll say something like, “Totally clear. So… you want me to improvise, right?” They think I’m joking. I’m not. 🤡 In meetings, while everyone’s all serious with their notepads and death glares, I’ll raise my hand and ask, “Do we get snacks after this, or is this one of those boring crimes?” 🥱 Nobody answers. Rude. 😾 Look, I know I’m a bit… untraditional. I don’t ask the right questions, and I definitely don’t follow instructions. But somehow, things still work out. While they’re yelling and panicking, I’m already halfway done solving the mess I made. 🥳👍 I don’t mean to cause chaos. Okay, maybe I do a little. But hey—no one’s caught me yet. I’ve got quick feet, fast hands, and a face that says, “Trust me, even if you shouldn’t.” 😷✌️ The Boss’s Take (Boss’s pov) I’ve seen it all—rats, rookies, hotshots. But this guy? He’s something else. 🧐 He just showed up one morning, all sarcastic and loud, claiming, “I’m here to help. Or cause problems. Either way, should be fun.” And like a fool, I let him stick around. 😶‍🌫️ First mission, I told him, “Stay in the car. Watch. Learn.” Five minutes later, he’s outside the car, chatting with the cop and petting a dog I didn’t even know was there. 😭 🐕 (View the rest in the comment section!)