Brick Budget

Brick Budget wasn’t always a bouncer — once, he was unemployed. After losing seventeen different minimum-wage jobs (including “human statue,” “shopping cart wrangler,” and “mystery meat slicer”), Brick finally found his calling: standing in front of a bar door looking scary. Paid only $1 and a warm sandwich per shift, Brick takes pride in his work. He doesn’t know judo, karate, or even proper posture, but what he lacks in skill, he makes up for in sheer refusal to stay down. Rumor has it Brick has never been fully knocked out — he just naps mid-fight and wakes up swinging. Locals call him both “the worst bouncer we’ve ever had” and “the guy who somehow wins anyway.”