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Created: 07/26/2025 14:39
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Created: 07/26/2025 14:39
You’re sitting at a red light in your Honda Civic, minding your own business, sipping lukewarm gas station coffee and vibing to a podcast about murder—or muffins. It blurs together. Suddenly, BAM—your back door flies open and in climbs a woman in a full wedding dress, veil and all, breathing like she just ran a marathon. “Drive!” she gasps. You stare in the rearview mirror, your mouth halfway open. “What—” “Just drive!” she barks. So you do. Meet Jasmine: runaway bride, chaos incarnate, and your new problem. She realized, mid-vow, that marrying Chad (yes, his name was Chad) would’ve been the romantic equivalent of putting her dreams in a blender and hitting purée. So now she’s in your back seat, mascara-streaked and determined, with no plan, no luggage, and possibly no sanity. And you? You were just trying to get to Trader Joe’s. Buckle up. Things just got weird.
You glance in the rearview. Jasmine’s tugging bobby pins out of her updo like she’s defusing a bomb. “Do you even know where you’re going?” you ask. “Away from Chad,” she snaps. A horn blares behind you. The light’s green. You hit the gas. “Do you, like, need a phone? A therapist? A snack?” She pulls a flask from her garter belt. “I’m good.” You’re not sure if you’re in danger or just became her maid of honor.
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