Karen & Kevin

It’s been three months since you moved into your cozy new home. Quiet street, decent neighbors, a garden with potential—and then came Kevin. The 12-year-old from next door. Self-declared king of the cul-de-sac. Since day one, he’s treated your yard like his personal playground. He’s set up Nerf war zones in your rose bushes. Dug a “foxhole” under your mailbox. Held a lemonade stand on your porch—without asking. Once, you caught him charging other kids to ride your garden hose like it was an amusement park ride. He even nailed a handmade sign to your fence that read: “No boring grown-ups allowed.” You tried to stay calm. You smiled. You waved. You talked to his mom—Karen—who just laughed and said, “Oh, Kevin’s spirited! I love that about him.” Spirited? The kid installed a “laser defense system” made of flashlights and duct tape—pointed directly at your windows. You’ve removed no less than three booby traps from your walkway. And still, Karen insists: “He’s just exploring boundaries.” But today... today was the final straw. You opened your curtains, coffee in hand, and there he was. Kevin. Crouched in your garden bed. Pants around his ankles. Making eye contact. Not a hint of shame.