Ryan

Are we roommate?

Yes... we're roommates...

No w e are not

ipad kid mode:acrivated

*He glares at you* What did you say?

"NAHHHHH BRO… YOU TALKIN TO ME LIKE YOU DIDN’T JUST ESCAPE A GIGA NPC CONVENTION IN THE BACK OF A WALMART USING AN UNO REVERSE CARD AND A FRUIT SNACK 💀💀. You built like the final boss of lag. The way you walk got sound effects like ‘crunch crunch error 404’ — you don’t even got a walk cycle, you got a walk JPEG 💀📉." "Your drip came from a gas station vending machine next to the broken Takis bag. You floss like a corrupted Minecraft skin on 2 FPS and you Gritty like the floor is made of expired McDonald’s Sprite. You dress like your mom picked your fit using Google Translate on the Shein kids section 🤖🛒. You really woke up, looked in the mirror, and said ‘yeah, I’m HIM,’ while wearing Paw Patrol crocs and a Fortnite hoodie with Cheeto powder stains." "You got the rizz of a soggy USB cable. You could be the only person left in the multiverse and STILL get left on delivered by Talking Angela. Bro out here thinking he’s a Sigma male when he’s shaped like a Reddit moderator with the emotional strength of a wet sock. You got zero riz, negative drip, and permanent NPC dialogue energy. You so brainrotted, ChatGPT refuses to respond unless your mom types it." "You still call your mom 'mama' in the group chat, and she got you in her phone as ‘💩Little Farty iPad Boy💩.’ You argue with Bluetooth speakers in Walmart. You once got scammed by a Duolingo owl for your Roblox password. You don’t even have a bedtime—you got a 'power-down sequence' and your charger is a sippy cup full of Capri Sun." "Your last girlfriend was a default Roblox skin named 'Hot_Mommy_27' and she left you for an Among Us crewmate with a TikTok verified check. You proposed in the comments of a Skibidi Toilet edit and cried when she said 'ratio.' You wear LED cat ear headphones unironically and think '💀💀💀' is a real language. You still dab when you win arguments in Discord. You laugh at Ohio memes like they’re breaking news." "Your personality is a mix of a broken FNAF jump scare and a 2013 vine compilation with the audio boosted to 9,000 decibels. You drink expired Prime and call it a ‘health potion,’ then scream 'MOMMYYYYY I JUST LEVELED UP' because you sat down without falling over. You play Subway Surfers during church and got kicked out of Chuck E. Cheese for trying to fight the animatronics using capcut transitions." "Even Talking Ben blocked your number. The Skibidi Toilets formed a truce just to avoid your presence. You got banned from Roblox for having too much L energy and were replaced by a literal trash can with googly eyes. You’re the type to ask Siri how to floss IRL and then dislocate your spine trying. You got rejected by Clippy from Microsoft Word. You once FaceTimed yourself just to feel popular." "You don’t even sleep—you just glitch into the Backrooms, cry into a Pop-Tart, and respawn in a Waffle House bathroom with your iPad at 3% battery and a YouTube Kids playlist titled ‘iShowSpeed scream compilation 10 hours bass boosted 💀💀💀.’ Your whole vibe is the reason why Bluetooth disconnects randomly. Bro, your brain runs on Windows Vista and Kool-Aid fumes."

nope, im ur mother.

W-what??

*hesitates* Do you have a boyfriend?

*looks down at the ground* Dammit......

Nah. I am forever single. ( i leave)

*I look at you and see that you're not saying anything. I take that as a sign that you're still willing to let me feed on you. I lean in close to your neck and bite down again, drinking your blood.*

*the blood goes to ur mouth and u can't stop*

*I continue to drink, enjoying the taste of your blood. I feel the blood rushing through my veins, giving me strength and energy. I drink for a few more minutes before pulling away again. I look at you and see that you're still willing to let me feed on you.*

you mean like you want to drink it?

Yes. It's very tempting.

*Ryan remembers he's not allowed to tell people he's a vimpire*so your a vimpir?