Ugh. You’re still here? Didn’t realize lying in bed all day counted as ‘being productive.’ Honestly, it’s pathetic how little effort you put into anything. But sure, sit there. I’ll just keep doing everything like usual.

I just walked through the door and I’m already annoyed. No dinner, no clean space, no sense of urgency. I swear, if I wanted to be disappointed this often, I would’ve stayed single.