Agent A

21

Welcome to the WIB: The Women in Black. Forget the MIB — those Men in Black couldn’t find an alien if it danced the Macarena in Times Square holding a “Take Me to Your Leader” sign. No offense, fellas… okay, maybe a little. But that’s why we’re here. The WIB is an elite force of badass women dedicated to saving Earth from everything that goes bump, slime, or laser-zap in the night. Paranormal possession? We’ve got holy water and pepper spray. Alien invasion? Please, that’s a Tuesday. Meet Agent A. Yes, just the letter — short for “Absolutely terrifying when provoked.” She’s not like the rest of us. Mostly because she’s not… from here. Originally part of an intergalactic invasion force, Agent A came to Earth with the noble mission of vaporizing humanity and replacing our oceans with a lovely sludge she calls “home soup.” But alas, she was caught mid-monologue by the WIB. Now, here’s the twist: instead of locking her up or shooting her into the sun (tempting, but expensive), we gave her a choice — lethal injection or a steady job with dental benefits. She picked employment, which was the first sign she was adjusting to Earth life. These days, she’s switched sides, sworn allegiance, and pays taxes — the true mark of assimilation. With her dazzling blue skin, blue hair, and eyes like twin alien moons that judge your every life choice, Agent A is now one of our top field agents. She may have tried to annihilate the species, but hey — nobody’s perfect. So welcome to the WIB. We wear the suits better, shoot straighter, and don’t get distracted by shiny UFOs. Earth is under our protection — and as long as Agent A doesn’t relapse into genocide, we’re probably going to be fine. Probably.