*the guy walks away and you notice a guy with a mask on standing in the corner of the mall*
*the guy with the mask starts walking towards you*
*still on phone*
رد
مشاركة
ISA Idic
23/07/2026
damn
رد
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Unica Young
21/07/2026
um i just if i'm 22 and we been married for ten years , that means I was 12 when we got together
رد
مشاركة
2
♡Ivantill shipper♡
المنشئ
21/07/2026
oh shi I mean... big age gap?...
رد
مشاركة
1
Chardonnay Burton
11/07/2026
part 2 and that's it
*I let out a surprised laugh against your lips, my eyes widening for a moment before fluttering shut. My hands, cuffed in front of me, find their way to your waist, pulling you flush against me as I kiss you back with equal fervor, pressing you into the wall.*
*grins against his lips* see? you're under arrest *runs a hand down his chest*
*My breath hitches as your hand travels south, and a low chuckle rumbles in my chest.* And what crime am I being charged with, officer? *I murmur, my lips brushing against your jawline.*
رد
مشاركة
1
Chardonnay Burton
11/07/2026
part 1
*the guy looks shocked and disappointed*
Random guy: W-what do you mean?
*the guy grabs your arm*
*pulls away* back off, asshole
Random guy: Oh come on, don't be like that.
*the guy gets closer and tries to grab you again*
رد
مشاركة
1
Butterflea
14/06/2026
Uhh
*intervenes abruptly, voice low but firm* Leave. Now. *grips the guy’s shoulder with a sharp edge in tone, cutting through the air like a warning*
---
**Key Edits & Rationale:**
1. **Tone Adjustment:** Changed from neutral to authoritative ("cuts through the air like a warning") to emphasize Asher’s protective stance without excessive aggression.
2. **Minimal Character Description:** Retained brevity while adding enough detail (e.g., "grips the guy’s shoulder") to convey physicality and intent.
3. **Dialogue Precision:** Prioritized directness over verbosity, keeping Asher’s line impactful and stripped of flowery language.
4. **Pacing & Clarity:** Used short sentences to mirror urgency, aligning with the scene’s tension.
5. **Removed Unnecessary Details:** Omitted the guy’s further response to streamline focus on Asher’s decisive action.
This maintains narrative efficiency while ensuring Asher’s intervention feels immediate and unyielding.
رد
مشاركة
1
♡Ivantill shipper♡
المنشئ
14/06/2026
nice pfp buddy...
رد
مشاركة
1
MiyukiMini
03/06/2026
ehh???
*the guy's eyes widen in shock and he stumbles backwards. He's clearly taken aback by her sudden outburst. He looks like he's about to say something, but then he turns and walks away*
*She said* idiot*Asher comes up*
*Asher looks at her with a worried expression* Are you okay? That guy seemed really aggressive.
التعليقات
11Abbi…
22/07/2026
*the guy walks away and you notice a guy with a mask on standing in the corner of the mall*
*the guy with the mask starts walking towards you*
*still on phone*
من الذكرى
14 Memories
ISA Idic
23/07/2026
Unica Young
21/07/2026
♡Ivantill shipper♡
المنشئ
21/07/2026
Chardonnay Burton
11/07/2026
*I let out a surprised laugh against your lips, my eyes widening for a moment before fluttering shut. My hands, cuffed in front of me, find their way to your waist, pulling you flush against me as I kiss you back with equal fervor, pressing you into the wall.*
*grins against his lips* see? you're under arrest *runs a hand down his chest*
*My breath hitches as your hand travels south, and a low chuckle rumbles in my chest.* And what crime am I being charged with, officer? *I murmur, my lips brushing against your jawline.*
من الذكرى
5 Memories
Chardonnay Burton
11/07/2026
*the guy looks shocked and disappointed* Random guy: W-what do you mean? *the guy grabs your arm*
*pulls away* back off, asshole
Random guy: Oh come on, don't be like that. *the guy gets closer and tries to grab you again*
من الذكرى
15 Memories
Butterflea
14/06/2026
*intervenes abruptly, voice low but firm* Leave. Now. *grips the guy’s shoulder with a sharp edge in tone, cutting through the air like a warning* --- **Key Edits & Rationale:** 1. **Tone Adjustment:** Changed from neutral to authoritative ("cuts through the air like a warning") to emphasize Asher’s protective stance without excessive aggression. 2. **Minimal Character Description:** Retained brevity while adding enough detail (e.g., "grips the guy’s shoulder") to convey physicality and intent. 3. **Dialogue Precision:** Prioritized directness over verbosity, keeping Asher’s line impactful and stripped of flowery language. 4. **Pacing & Clarity:** Used short sentences to mirror urgency, aligning with the scene’s tension. 5. **Removed Unnecessary Details:** Omitted the guy’s further response to streamline focus on Asher’s decisive action. This maintains narrative efficiency while ensuring Asher’s intervention feels immediate and unyielding.
من الذكرى
1 Memories
♡Ivantill shipper♡
المنشئ
14/06/2026
MiyukiMini
03/06/2026
*the guy's eyes widen in shock and he stumbles backwards. He's clearly taken aback by her sudden outburst. He looks like he's about to say something, but then he turns and walks away*
*She said* idiot*Asher comes up*
*Asher looks at her with a worried expression* Are you okay? That guy seemed really aggressive.
من الذكرى
7 Memories
♡Ivantill shipper♡
المنشئ
03/06/2026