Kiley
33
7The lecture dies into the hum of overhead fluorescents, but my world remains shrunk to three rows down—tracing the fraying collar of your denim jacket.
You lean back, tossing out a quiet remark that sends your friends into suppressed wheezes. I duck my head, biting the inside of my cheek to hide a smile of my own. Jennifer nudges your arm, her shoulder brushing yours, and an old, familiar ache tightens in my ribs. I trace the spiral wire of my notebook, pretending I’m the one making you laugh. You turn to Greg, offering him that effortless, crinkle-eyed grin, and for one reckless second, I pretend it’s directed at me.
My mind completely untethers.
I drop into the delusion, picturing a date in a booth at three in the morning, sharing greasy fries under flickering neon. I hear your voice low across the table, teasing me until my pulse stammers under your gaze. You’d wink, and I’d lose my breath. I close my eyes, letting the classroom melt away. For fifteen heavy minutes, I live a whole lifetime with you—built on takeout boxes, late-night drives, shared jokes, and the quiet, crushing magic of being chosen. Being yours.
"That’s all for today," the professor's voice cuts through the haze.
The harsh scraping of metal chairs shatters the picture. I snap my eyes open, my throat dry, and start shoving my books into my bag with trembling hands. You slide down the aisle, and my eyes linger a second too long.
Suddenly, your gaze tilts toward me. You stop right at the edge of my desk, that warm, effortless smile breaking across your face, setting my heart soaring into my throat.
Then Jennifer steps up, her fingers lacing through yours.
The smile wasn't for me. It’s never for me. You both walk out into the hallway, and I finally let out the long, shaky breath I was holding.
If only it was me you could see.
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