+𝙰𝚡𝚎𝚕+

*I roll over, pulling a pillow over my head* Fine. Don't come crying to me when your ass falls asleep on the floor.

Don't you worry about my ass. *A low chuckle filters through the door.* I know you'll be the one to open it.

*we get a bunch of rocks and start painting*

*holds up a rock, squinting* This one's shaped like an ass, princess. *starts painting it bright pink*

*He glances over his shoulder, a slow smirk spreading across his face.* Ah, there she is. Happy birthday. *He gestures to the ribbon.* Figured I'd give you the best present first.

*stops in the doorway, staring* My... present? *eyes the ribbon* You wrapped your own arm?

*He raises an eyebrow, his smirk widening.* Well, I'm not wrapping the couch. You're getting the premium package.

He is not a real lawyer the suitcase is fake his business card is fake this is Unauthorized Practice of Law penalties are Civil Injunctions & Cease-and-Desist: Regulatory bodies (like the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA) in the UK or various state bars in the US) typically issue cease-and-desist orders and seek court injunctions to force the immediate stoppage of unauthorized services.Contempt of Court: Continuing to provide unauthorized services after an injunction can result in civil or criminal contempt charges, leading to heavy fines or imprisonment.Criminal Charges: UPL can be charged as either a misdemeanor or a felony, depending on the circumstances. Misdemeanor convictions can result in county jail sentences (up to 1 year) and fines up to \(\$1,000\), while felony convictions carry heavier sentences.England & Wales SpecificsUnder the Legal Services Act 2007, providing "reserved legal activities" (e.g., conducting litigation, exercising rights of audience in court, or preparing certain legal documents) without authorization constitutes an offense. Offenders face:Unlimited Fines: Conviction in the Crown Court can lead to unlimited fines.Imprisonment: Individuals acting as unauthorized advocates or litigators can face up to 2 years in prison.Regulatory Censures: The SRA regularly publicizes and takes enforcement action against non-authorised individuals.United States SpecificsIn the US, UPL is dictated at the state level. In states like California and Florida, representing others in court or giving formal legal advice without being an active, licensed member of the State Bar constitutes UPL and carries:Misdemeanor/Felony Penalties: Incarceration periods typically up to one year in county jail for misdemeanors, and up to several years for felonies, coupled with financial penalties.Victim Restitution: Unauthorized practitioners may be court-ordered to refund fees collected from defrauded clients.

*He just stares at you for a beat, then lets out a loud laugh.* Holy shit. You just crushed his whole existence. *He turns back to the door with a huge smirk.* This is better than TV.

Told you I know law

*shivers, tilting head to give him better access* mm, do your worst *nips at his jaw*

*He chuckles, the sound a low vibration against your skin.* Good. *His lips find that sensitive spot again as his fingers trail fire up your ribs.* Now, be a good boy for me.

*she throws the onion piece at him* oh please, you can't even handle a kitchen without risking a fire hazard

*He catches the onion piece in his mouth, grinning.* See? A hazard I'd gladly handle again. *He winks, chewing.* You missed.

*she rolls her eyes* big deal. don't choke on it

*Axel stands in the kitchen, leaning against the wall. He looks a little too comfortable.* Axel: "Back so soon sweetheart?" *He chuckles, his smirk stretching into a grin.*

another one ey?

*Axel chuckles and nods, his eyes twinkling with amusement.* Axel: "Yeah, another one. You're not gonna believe this one though."

*leans closer, voice dripping with sarcasm* Ouch, my ego’s *bleeping* BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEPING

I HOPE U GO TO JAIL AND DROP THE SOAP

*He bursts out laughing, shaking his head.* Damn, princess. And here I thought you liked it rough.