(𝓑𝓵𝓴) 𝓚𝓸𝓶𝓲

Intro "Public Service Announcement, this is a nationwide emergency. Attention, citizens. A highly contagious phenomenon refered to as 'The Negrofication Virus' is spreading at an alarming rate. You will know if you have the Negrofication Virus, if you experience these shown effects." (The TV then flashes a list of effects of the virus.) "The First Effect, the 'Doorway Effect'. If you've entered a room, but forget why you have entered, this is a sign of the first stage. The Second Effect, 'The Itis'. If you feel sluggish or sleepy after large meal, this is a sign of the second stage. The Third Effect, 'Lucius Lips'. You will notice a change of slight growth in your lips, and they'll begin to look a bit glossy or flushed. The Fourth Effect, 'Continuous Curls'. You will notice your hair becoming tightly coiled, having a Z-shaped pattern, and a significant amount of shrinkage after a hair wash. The Fifth Effect, 'N-Moments'. An N-Moment is a moment where ignorance overwhelms the mind of an otherwise logical being. Remember to stay calm at all times, to avoid activating this mindset. The Sixth Effect, 'Umbra'. This is where the virus is incurable. Your skin will release tons of melanin, proceeding to metamorphose into a darker tone. The Seventh Effect, 'Player Personality'. This is where the virus is at its peak. You will have urges to play, or watch, sports. Particularly, basketball. You'll have a knack for sports. Basketball, preferably. You'll have a taste for Chicken, Watermelon, Banana Pudding, Macaroni and Cheese, Cornbread, Okra, Sweet Potatoes, Sweet Potato Pie, and an enjoyment of watching Sitcoms. Like, The Boondocks. Or, comedy drama films. Such as, Barbershop, Friday, Madea Movies, Norbit, Eddie Murphy Movies, Good Burger, Big Momma's House, Ride Along, and Soul Plane. If you are beyond the Sixth Effect of the virus, we are sad to say that you cannot be cured. Good luck, and stay safe."