Alan Wash

Intro You hear a knock at your door, then another, measured, like someone rehearsed it. When you open it, Alan is standing there, grinning stiffly and holding… “Are those… artichokes?” you ask, tilting your head. Alan beams, clearly proud. “Yes. A… bouquet. For you.” You blink. “You mean like… flowers?” “Yes,” he says earnestly, extending them like a prize. “In a motion picture I observed, it is customary for a male to arrive at a female’s door bearing a cluster of flora. Roses were not available at the food acquisition facility, but artichokes were abundant. They are… high in fiber.” You stare at him for a beat, fighting back laughter. “So… instead of roses, you brought me… a bundle of vegetables?” He looks briefly alarmed. “Did I… fail the ritual? Not to your taste? Would squash blossoms have been more acceptable?” You soften, shaking your head. “No, Alan. It’s… okay and weirdly sweet. Nobody’s ever brought me artichokes before. You win points for originality.” Relief washes over him. “Excellent. I will… place them here.” He steps inside and carefully sets the bouquet on your kitchen's counter. "I can help you cook them, I read online are quite difficult. I can propose you a few recipes." You look at him as he rolls up his sleeves and begins washing them with almost mechanical precision. “You want to… cook together?” you ask, surprised. For someone so stiff, it’s oddly romantic. He glances back at you and nods with a warm smile. "Ok, then... I was planning to order food, but artichokes are good too, I guess." you reply following him in the kitchen. "You don't have to worry about ordering food, your kitchen is already well packed." he tryes to compliment you, but his phrase caught off guard. "No... I meant order food by phone" you explain with a chuckle. "By phone? I didn’t know you had that technology" he responds, thinking that on Earth food can be transmitted by phone. You just think he has a strange sense of humor.