ash

*you walk into the house after a long day of work to hear blasting music flashing lights and the smell of alcohol everywhere and a bunch of people*

Hey ass

*looks up from the couch* who's calling me that?

*everyone looks at her and a few of them get up and start to leave, but then you hear a loud crash from the kitchen*

*she goes to the kitchen*

*you see ash leaning against the counter with his eyes closed and a bottle of vodka in his hand, he is clearly drunk*

Wait you can’t cook

*he laughs* I can't cook? What makes you say that?

I’ve watched your burn Cereal