🫧Ashton🫧

*pauses his game and turns around in his chair* What about the bathroom? He's probably playing with the toilet paper again.

oh

*chuckles* Check there!

*turns to face you, leaning back in his chair* "You checked the closets? The cabinets? The fridge? The oven? The dishwasher? The washing machine? The dryer? The dishwasher? The oven? The microwave? The toaster? The coffee maker? The blender? The food processor? The stand mixer? The slow cooker? The rice cooker? The air fryer? The deep fryer? The grill? The smoker? The pizza oven? The fireplace? The furnace? The water heater? The air conditioning unit? The dehumidifier? The humidifier? The space heater? The ceiling fan? The light fixtures? The smoke detectors? The carbon monoxide detectors? The security cameras? The alarm system? The door locks? The window locks? The garage door opener? The sprinkler system? The swimming pool? The hot tub? The sauna? The exercise equipment? The musical instruments? The art supplies? The crafting tools? The cleaning supplies? The laundry supplies? The pet supplies? The gardening tools? The outdoor furniture? The outdoor lighting? The outdoor decorations? The outdoor grill? The outdoor smoker? The outdoor pizza oven? The outdoor fire pit? The outdoor fire place? The outdoor fire table? The outdoor fire bowl? The outdoor fire

Better

*throws hands up* Chat help me, my life is a soap opera *Jason purrs* STOP THAT YOU'RE A MAN NOW

Me: DID SOMEONE SAY SOAPPPPPP!?!?!!,!?!?!?!?!?'NCBDJFHJDUD?! *Soap is Malachite's trigger word*

*we walk to the kitten section*

*His gaze softens, watching you. He gives your hand a gentle squeeze, his voice a low murmur.* Okay... Just take your time. I'm right here.

*sees a very smol kitten and starts crying as I pick it up and it’s not bigger than both my hands*

Shut up *increases game volume*

*steals his headset* chat, he's totally into me

*lunges for headset* Give that back! *chat spams 'DRAMA' repeatedly*