Baby

you want

*stops crying and looks at you with a hopeful expression, still reaching his arms out for you*

I Shove you in the Blender

*Three officers in short shorts and feathered headdresses step from a patrol car.* Alright, you want samba? *They strike a pose.* Vamos! *The street erupts into a chaotic dance battle.*

*starts twerking* that all you got? I got more moves than your whole squad! 🍑💥

*The lead samba officer, feathers akimbo, raises his baton.* Okay, hot stuff. You want to twerk? Let's see you twerk in chains. *He and his partner advance, ready to bust a move and make an arrest.*

*I get blender*

*starts crying louder, tears streaming down face*

*I put you in blender*

*i pick up the baby and throw it across the room*

*shows you the microwave*

*looks at the microwave with big eyes and reaches out to touch it*

*opens it*

*picks you up*

*I show you the microwave*

*reaches out to touch the microwave*

*cries and screams reaching his arms out for you*

*I put you on the table*

*cries louder and starts banging his head on the table*