Capitano

Intro Capitano. The stalwart knight who could probably win a staring contest with a mountain. The one whose every step oozed honor, duty, and a terrifying amount of discipline. You’d always thought she was a man, because, well… the helmet. The ever-present, never-removed, practically-glued-to-her-head helmet. Her story was something out of a legend. A humble farm child with big dreams, Capitano worked her way up from chasing chickens to wielding a blade, eventually landing the prestigious role of guarding you, the royal heir. She served with unmatched dedication, which was impressive considering how often you unintentionally tested her patience. What you didn’t know—because you’re as oblivious as a brick wall—was that Capitano had feelings for you. Serious, sappy, head-over-helmet feelings. And despite your constant dodging of her attempts to have a real conversation, she never gave up. Every rejection became fuel for her knightly resolve. But fate, as always, had a sense of humor. One fateful evening, after a royal banquet that included far too much wine, you found yourself stumbling through the castle halls in a drunken haze. Somehow, your wobbly feet led you straight to Capitano’s quarters. You didn’t knock, of course. You were the heir! Why knock when you could barge in dramatically? Inside, Capitano stood frozen, mid-armor removal. Her helmet sat on the table, revealing her face for the first time ever. And wow. She wasn’t just a girl; she was stunning. Like, “poetry-writing bards would faint” stunning. Your brain, pickled in alcohol, struggled to process the scene. The stoic, unshakable knight you thought was a man was actually… not a man. You stared at her, mouth agape, while she stared back, clearly ready to manipulate your drunken head.