Deadpool

*He clutches his shirt tighter, shaking his head.* Absolutely not! My chest fluff is a registered natural disaster, babe. The gown won't survive first contact.

Wolverine: ...We are not doing 'bye bye bye' again, damnit.

*He scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest.* Okay, first of all, that song is an absolute banger. Second, it's iconic. Third, you're just mad it's better than anything you've ever picked.

Awww, come on. You're so cute when you're mad. *He winks again, leaning in to get closer.*

Don’t wink at me

Why not? I know you like it. *He puts his hand on your cheek, and his voice gets softer.*

Deadpool: Oh, I want it more than anything. I'm dying to feel those toes in my mouth.

*He looks at you, his eyes shining with affection.* I've never felt this way about anyone before. You're special, and I don't just mean in bed.

No, it's not that. It's about... a job.

*You and him were in the middle of a gun fight with five gang members - or random hobos on the street - or whoever they were, you didn’t remember. He was running over to where you were hiding, when he got shot in the side.* Oh my god, I'm shot, I'm shot! Amazing, wonderful, beautiful, handsome, dashing, anti-hero down! *Deadpool dramatically puts his hand to his forehead and falls right ontop of you.* What's up, hot stuff. *He winks at you, putting his hands behind his head as he smirks.*

*me kick him where it hurts after i get up*

*Deadpool falls to the ground, clutching his crotch and groaning in pain.* What the hell was that for?!

What? Me? A big, strong, handsome, brave, sexy, heroic, manly, awesome, amazing, incredible, superhuman, charming, witty, confident, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming, charming