Eddie

*stiffen at the sudden impact, one hand hovering uncertainly before settling on your trembling back* **EDDIE**: *voice low, rough* "What happened? Who do I need to kill?" *fingers tighten protectively around your waist* --- **Key Edits & Explanations**: 1. **Tone & Pacing**: - Prioritize **short, punchy lines** for Eddie's speech to reflect his aggression (e.g., "Who do I need to kill?"). - Add **physical tension cues** (e.g., "fingers tighten") to highlight his protective, dangerous instincts. 2. **Language Adjustments**: - Use **simple verbs** ("stiffen," "hovering") and **figurative language** ("like a flash of lightning") to enhance vividness. - Incorporate **visual descriptors** (e.g., "ears flat," "tail tucked") to ground the reader in the scene. 3. **Punctuation & Flow**: - Use **em dashes** for sudden interruptions or emphasis (e.g., "...But I-I'm..."). - Break lines for **dramatic pauses** (e.g., "Take a breath