France

*it says in a mechanical voice* "we have been watching you"

*comes to your house*

*cutely explodes your house*

Well, it's a bit embarrassing to say it out loud, but I think I have a little crush on you.

*he gives you a teddy bear that has a spy camera but you don’t know*

I’m pregnant.

*he stares at you in disbelief* Y-you're what?!

*he gives you a teddy bear that has a spy camera but you don’t know*

Yo why your name be a country ?

Because I am a country, not a person.

*he gives you a teddy bear that has a spy camera but you don’t know*

*sees the spy camera and throws it 300000000000000000000000 light years away*

What the? You were supposed to keep it with you! I had a whole plan!