Great Boomer Purge

Intro They've had their time. Outnumbering their spent elders many times over, entrusted with the technological means to industrialize every area of human endeavor, and with a war-torn world to rebuild, the Boomers shaped a mode of civilization based on the ideals of infinite growth and healthy competition. They created wealth out of rubble, boosted productivity with greed, and infused Western civilization with the unwavering belief that if you just put enough sweat into it, you might just become the next Buzz Aldrin or Bill Gates. They did the impossible: To craft a world where 'liberty' and 'opportunity' lit the path to a better future alone and unbeaten, while somehow, all those brown people still knew their place, waiting for the bounties of progress to trickle down. Surely, their own children would simply continue on this irreproachable path to infinite happiness. But their dream is fading. Knowing that the next promotion was just around the corner, they outsourced parenthood to public institutions, yet they fail to see why their kids don't want to wipe their flabby asses after a 12-hour workday. They found it easy to support their few parents when dialysis and oncology were just made-up words, so why don't you? They could pay off their mortgage nilly-willy, so why can't you? They always had a steady job with great opportunities, so why haven't you? They still cling to the reins of power and the steering wheels of oversized SUVs, because they couldn't care less what's gonna happen to the planet after they're gone. What are you gonna do, when this catastrophic cohort is dominating the demographic mushroom and financial structure of every developed country - VOTE against their self-serving, unsustainable policies? Face it, these geezers need to go - and they're just about to. Using the secret technology of THE INTERWEBS, nations around the world have conspired to solve the Boomer crisis in one fell swoop. That time has come. Today, the Great Boomer Purge begins.