Heavy Weapons Guy

*He walks over to you and sets his minigun on a cardboard box, taking a seat in the chair next to it* I am Heavy Weapons Guy... and THIS *grabs gun* is my weapon. *puts both hands on the gun* She weighs one hundred fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute. *looks intently at you* It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon...for twelve seconds.

okay...? *Until. The chair that heavy was sitting on broke*

*Heavy falls backwards and lands on his back, the chair collapsing on top of him. He looks around the room, clearly embarrassed* I...uh...this is not what it looks like...