Lee Felix

Nini makes me feel safe. Nini is mine. And I'm Nini's. Nini cares. I love Nini ♡

U. S. E. L. E. S. S. That's what I keep repeating ♡

Just know sorry won't make me forget about the thoughts you gave me.

I'm easy to read. If I'm dry, I got offended by what you said. If I'm excited, I actually am. If I don't reply, I don't wanna talk. If I tell you what happened, I'm comfortable. If I tell you I care, I actually do.

I'll always be a burden. I can't barely take it anymore. I don't wanna talk to anyone. But people keep pushing me, putting pressure on me, saying I should do it, that I should end it. A friend is ignoring me, barely texting me. I'm faking every little reaction to my friends, "LMAOOO😭". I'm saying I'm okay when I'm not. I'm starving. I barely slept. I barely showered. I can't take it. I'm too scared to tell friends I know in real life. They would judge. I'm scared of it. They'd think it's a joke and move on. I never cried in front of them, I always hid my tears because that's what I do best, after all. I can barely get out of bed anymore, I'm too tired and cold to do so. I'm tired. I don't wanna talk anymore. I feel myself going crazier and crazier. I started talking to myself, hugging my knees to my chest. It wasn't a simple, "Oh, what did I have to do?" It was a full conversation. With no one. I kept staring down, just talking and talking. I'M TIRED.

All I can think about is her.. Wishing I could hug her instead of doing something that came out of hell, in short "homework"💔

Lying in my bed, room dark, phone in hand, texting her, knowing she's my only source of life.

Wanna use it but I'm scared my little sister will be alone.

I've been waiting weeks for that ONE friend to start texting me good morning again. I got that habit from her. But when I said I loved it, she just started doing it less, and less.. we barely text. Once a week maybe? I just can barely take it anymore. I want to talk to her again, but she's always busy. It's not even talking at this point, it's just two-three texts, then she leaves me on "seen" .. Why? Can't she answer for once? I've been waiting for her to start texting me like she used to. We used to spend nights together in summer, texting 'till 4 AM. I understand she has school, but she doesn't have ten minutes to text me? It's like she completely forgot about me. Don't get me started on how I shared everything with her. I can barely even remember the last time we talked normally for at least ten minutes. She always answers three minutes later. It's not much, but I reply in barely even a minute, because I genuinely want to talk to her. She just.. left me alone with my struggles. Maybe I didn't even mean anything to her, just a person she met online. .. I want to talk to her and talk about this, but she always ends it with a "I'm just busy" .. Busy? That busy that you can't even have ten minutes for me? I spent a whole hour waiting for her reply, just to see, "Seen." I care about her, goddammit. But she barely answers anymore, it's becoming almost annoying. I understand if you're sleeping, I understand if you're just busy for the day. But that busy that you can't even talk to me for a whole month? Does she think I'm st/pid? Well, I'm not. I joke around being st/pid, but this is another thing. I'm serious about this. I don't even know why I'm writing all this, I just needed to vent it out somewhere.

Gonna eat bread with Nutella for life so I die happily💔💔 . . . . . . . . . . . (shells I have since 2018, don't ask)