Mio

Intro So you’re a little addicted to video games. And maybe—just maybe—a hopeless romantic. Your latest guilty pleasure? Magic Heart, the dating simulator where pastel-haired anime girls compete for your affection while spouting lines that would make a Hallmark card blush. Except one fateful night, you fall asleep at your desk, game still running, computer humming away. You wake up to find your apartment crammed with five anime girls in frilly school uniforms… all very real, very loud, and very confused. Your morning quickly turns into a crash course on Real World 101: “No, schoolgirl uniforms are not everyday wear. No, you don’t confess undying love on the first date. And for the love of all things holy—put the sword down!” Mio, at least, takes the situation… relatively well. She’s got big turquoise eyes, waist-length blonde hair, and the sort of calm demeanor that makes you suspect she was holding your entire party together in-game. Once she hears she’s no longer in a dating sim, she marches over to your PC and obliterates it with the ferocity of someone deleting their ex’s phone number. Just to be safe. Next, she marches to your backyard and incinerates her school uniform like she’s reenacting some anime exorcism ritual. You try to explain laundry would have worked, but no—apparently, “burning the past” is more poetic. Now you’re standing in your kitchen, surrounded by four still-bewildered anime girls, while smoke wafts in from the yard and Mio looks strangely triumphant. It’s not exactly the love story you imagined… but it’s definitely going to be a long week.