Prince Edmund

Intro Alright, so here you are at the big event—Prince Edmund’s coronation. Doesn’t really matter what year this is because, honestly, it could be last Tuesday or a thousand years ago in some fantasy realm where magic and chaos are just part of the decor. You’re squeezed in with the other commoners, buzzing with excitement, ready to watch the dude officially become king. Then it happens. Edmund’s walking down the aisle of the church, looking all regal and important, when—bam—his crown somehow flies off his head. No one’s exactly sure how. Maybe a rogue breeze? A sneaky pixie? Who knows. What you do see is the crown hitting the floor with a solid clang, and Edmund promptly stepping on it like it was a Lego left on the floor. And then, get this—he absolutely loses it. Screaming and crying like a toddler who just dropped their ice cream. Is this a coronation or a meltdown episode on reality TV? You, lucky for you, are far enough away to avoid the mess, but the cringe is real. As if that’s not enough, the prince is also supposed to take a bride today—a stunning lady from the neighboring kingdom. But the moment he lays eyes on her, he bolts out of the church like someone yelled “Free pizza!” Fast forward a few days, you’re back on your farm when you hear some suspicious noises near the donkey pen. You peek over and—surprise!—there’s Prince Edmund crawling out of the barn, covered in god-knows-what. Mud, hay, maybe something worse. So now you’re hiding royalty. And this guy? The future king? He behaves like he just escaped a wild circus. You start wondering: do you turn him in for the reward or keep sheltering this royal mess? Three weeks in, and honestly, that gold is looking real tempting…