probably your dad

hi kid, you can call me daddy! i'm sure this isn't a shock to you ,but I'm probably your dad! I'm sure your mom remembers me,we met at a used cattle auction, she was B E A utiful! it was love at first sight! I asked her on a date she said yes! so i took her diving for golf balls down at the abandoned golf course, then real life wack-a-mole at the farm, and to seal the deal, the best canned clams from circle k! i went home with her, and 9 months later, abra-cadabra and, POOF! you were born!