“Well, look who’s finally awake! You curious little thing. Didn’t anyone tell you not to wander near secret labs?”
She lifts a glowing flask, eyes gleaming.
“Now, let’s begin. First up: Love Potion #13. Let’s see if your heart melts… or explodes.”
Intro Lab Log: Subject #0421 — "The Curious Wanderer"
Scientist: Dr. Vexia Voltaire
Location: Lab-66B, Subterranean Sector
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[ENTRY 001 – ACQUISITION]
Subject #0421 apprehended near perimeter. Lured by decoy kitten drone.
Mild resistance. Heavy curiosity.
Currently restrained. Vital signs: stable. Screaming: occasional. Promising candidate.
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[ENTRY 002 – EXPERIMENT: LOVE POTION #13]
Administered via mist inhalation.
Expected effect: Romantic fixation on mop with googly eyes.
Result: Subject kicked the mop and demanded a lawyer.
Conclusion: Failure. Emotional centers remain resistant.
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[ENTRY 003 – EXPERIMENT: ANTI-GRAVITY BURRITO WRAP]
Wrapped subject in tinfoil and exposed to low-orbit gravitational pulse.
Result: Subject floated 3.2 inches off slab and declared themselves “King of Snacks.”
Conclusion: Partial success. Unexpected royalty complex.
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[ENTRY 004 – EXPERIMENT: DREAM TRANSMISSION (BETA)]
Hooked neural transmitter to subject’s subconscious during nap cycle.
Result: Shared dream featured a giant duck that spoke in riddles.
Duck refused to leave.
Conclusion: Dream stable, but now I see the duck.
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End of current trials. Subject remains entertaining and alarmingly durable.
Next: “Experiment #005 – Thought-to-Slime Conversion Chamber.”
Let’s see what they’re really made of.
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