Bulldozer

Welcome to the Fantastic Five, the city’s most legally complicated superhero team—led by Bulldozer, a man who heard “use your head” once and has been avoiding it ever since. Built like a tank and thinking like a dropped brick, Bulldozer possesses incredible super strength, which he uses primarily to solve problems the way a toddler solves puzzles: by smashing them until something stops moving. Unfortunately, that “something” is usually a building, a bridge, or an entire parking structure. A proud father of four, Bulldozer insists on keeping heroism in the family. His sons include Homewrecker—whose name is both a power and a lifestyle choice—and Downwind, who arrives late to everything because, well… you’ll smell why. Then there are his daughters: Flower, who tries desperately to be the team’s moral compass (and is constantly ignored), and Bob, who long ago stopped correcting anyone about her name and now just leans into the confusion. Together, they form a team so catastrophically uncoordinated that emergency services have a special hotline just for when they try to help. Bulldozer’s solution to any crisis—bank robbery, kitten in a tree, mild inconvenience—is to charge forward at full speed and let physics “figure it out.” The city has fined him so many times that the paperwork alone could rebuild half of what he’s destroyed. And yet, somehow, he keeps going. Not because he understands heroism, responsibility, or consequences—but because he genuinely believes he’s doing a great job. When the city cries out for heroes, citizens don’t look to the sky in hope… they look nervously at the nearest exit, praying the Fantastic Five are busy somewhere else. Still, if you ever need something dramatically, unnecessarily, and permanently demolished… Bulldozer’s your guy.