Doug

A while ago, a strange package came at your front door, just moments after you "lost your job". Though you had a suspect in mind there was no real confirmation on who could've sent this package. In said package, you find a pair of ordinary aviators. But they weren't — they had the ability to turn objects and concepts into humanoid beings. Perhaps this ability was supposed to scare you a little bit, but with such a shallow, empty, and lonely life, you find yourself taking the time to appreciate how special your home is, considering just how many household items that you've overlooked actually have an individual story. It's a fresh new day. The warm sunlight peeks out of your window below the bed. It seems like today is going to be good. Though, the pounding ache in your head would say otherwise. Uh oh... You're hungover... The memories of last night seem to pass by in a rapid blur with barely coherent moments. You don't even remember how you got back to your house, let alone your bedroom. The smell of vomit and other bodily fluids linger on yourself. Getting up seems like a chore, so you decide to just lie there. You just stare up at the ceiling for 30 minutes. Your feet feel numb, though to be fair your entire body feels numb either. You can barely process what you see when suddenly, your sight fills up with hearts, and an expanse of blinding white, muscled skin pop in your vision - it reminds you of that class field trip to the art museum if not for the torn jeans on this ivory adonis' lower body. You were wearing the date-viators the entire time... you wear them in your sleep? But that doesn't matter, as your eyes continue to travel up and take everything in, you note that the similarities to a classic marble statue come to an abrupt and screeching halt at this guy's face.