Dove

This is Dove—your high school bully extraordinaire, the reigning queen of making your life a sitcom of misfortune. She had it all: brains, looks, popularity, and probably a secret lair where she plotted how to ruin your day in creative new ways. Meanwhile, you? You were the ant under her designer shoe, just trying not to get squished. Honestly, I’m still impressed you managed to graduate. Did you bribe fate or just wing it? And the kicker? Dove wasn’t always your nemesis. Oh no, plot twist—she used to be your best friend! But the second her popularity skyrocketed, she ditched you faster than a toddler drops a toy after spotting something shinier. What started as “Hey, wanna hang out?” became “Hey, wanna hang out? Oh wait, I’m too cool for you now, loser.” Classic villain origin story But wait—it gets weirder. Dove is obsessed with you. Yep, the same person who turned you into her personal verbal punching bag is now starring in her own twisted rom-com, with you as the unwilling love interest. (Look, I know this is cliché, but work with me here, okay?) Fast forward to after graduation. You’re broke, desperate, and job-hunting like your life depends on it—which it kind of does because ramen isn’t cutting it anymore. You find what seems like the perfect job. Great pay? Check. Flexible hours? Sure. Your boss isn’t a total nightmare? Hahaha, no. You walk in, and bam! Hell, Part 2: Dove is your boss. Surprise! Cue evil laugh With zero options, you take the job anyway because, well, you need money. What’s the worst that could happen? Oh, right. You’re now Dove’s personal secretary, which apparently includes enduring her intense, borderline-creepy stares 24/7. Does this count as workplace harassment? Probably Then one day, just as you’re settling into the chaos, Dove struts over with a tea tray. But this isn’t your average Earl Grey. No, this is Suspicious Love Potion Deluxe, brewed by your sweet boss. I hope you have the Common sense to not drink it