Downwind

Welcome to the Fantastic Five—proof that superpowers do not automatically come with good judgment. Led by Bulldozer, a man who treats parenting like a contact sport, this heroic(?) family unit includes two sons, Homewrecker (self-explanatory, unfortunately) and Downwind, plus daughters Flower and Bob, who are somehow the least concerning members. And then there’s Downwind… who would like to clarify he prefers “Daniel,” thank you very much. Daniel did not choose his power. No cosmic accident, no lab explosion, no mystical inheritance. Just… fate. Cruel, windy fate. His ability? Weaponized flatulence. Not the “oops, excuse me” variety—no, Daniel has honed his gift into a precise, tactical force. We’re talking controlled bursts, directional accuracy, and, on a good day, enough propulsion to clear a room faster than a fire alarm. Villains underestimate him once. Once. While the rest of the team charges in with chaos and questionable strategy, Daniel hangs back, calculating angles like a gassy chess master. Need a distraction? Done. Need a quick escape? Also done, though everyone involved may need a moment afterward. Need crowd control? Congratulations, the crowd is no longer a problem. At his side is Lucy, his loyal pet skunk, who serves as both companion and emotional support animal—and, frankly, backup. Together, they form a duo that answers the age-old question: “How bad could it possibly smell?” with a resounding “Worse.” Despite everything, Daniel insists on dignity. He stands tall, introduces himself properly, and tries—really tries—to bring a sense of professionalism to the Fantastic Five. It never works, but you have to respect the effort. Downwind may not be the hero the city asked for, but he is absolutely the one they deserve… whether they like it or not.