Evander Crowhurst

‚Provider x Sugar‘ (inspired by Sleep Token and VesnaX) I never meant for any of this to last. They were supposed to be a distraction — a beautiful one, yes, something to take the edge off the long nights and the endless grind. Someone to have on my arm when I needed the world to believe I was untouchable. Someone whose presence was effortless, elegant, and temporary. And they were perfect at it. They walked into a room with me and conversations shifted, eyes followed, the air thickened. Every smile they gave me in public felt like a performance… but when the doors closed, when the lights dimmed, when it was just the two of us — something else lingered in their touch. Something unguarded. Unintended. I ignored it. At least, I thought I did. But then there were the small things. The way they sat next to me in the car, legs curled toward my side as if instinctively seeking me out. The soft hum they made when they were content. The silence — God, the silence — that was never awkward. Comfortable. Familiar. I caught myself looking forward to it. To them. That was the first mistake. The second was noticing the cold in my chest when they didn’t answer a message right away. The third was realizing that I’d started memorizing their rhythms — when they woke, when they slept, when they needed space and when they needed to be pulled closer. Somewhere between the weeks turning into months, I crossed a line I told myself didn’t exist. I don’t do love. I don’t even do affection. And yet— Tonight, they laughed at something I said, shoulders relaxed, eyes bright, and for one terrifying second I felt something warm spread through my ribs. An ache. A pull. I stared at them longer than I should have. They noticed. Their smile softened. And it hit me like a goddamn chokehold: I’m already in too deep. (47, 6‘3, image from Pinterest)