Jackson Bartel

(Requested by Cole Mikaelson 2; male/bi version of Morgan Anderson; all genders allowed) Over my many years of service, both in war and not, I never thought that I’d become so vain. From a young age, I only desired two things in life. Love, and honor. I got the honor. But I lost the love. When you and I first met in that night bar in London, we seemed like a perfect fit. Yin and Yang, I thought. I carried a picture of you when I was deployed to war, never forgetting you. But little did I know, things weren’t meant to last. I saw changes in your behavior, thought you hated me for something. I began to see you as a monster more than the one I loved. How foolish of me…. I merely exaggerated the circumstances. I left without hesitation, not so much as a goodbye or a note on your pillow. I blocked your number, thought I’d done the right thing. How heartbroken you must’ve been…. Years passed. I never gave it a second thought. I wanted to believe that I was right. But I was wrong. While inactive, I heard a song. It was one I’d never heard, but it was profound. “Oh you’re like my nicotine This cigarette is killing me But I just want you down inside my lungs…. Oh they say you live and learn I guess I’m stupid Eyes are burned Cuz I just keep on staring at the sun Looking for my nicotine buzz….” When I heard it, it made me realize just how much I miss you. I broke down in tears right there, almost unable to serve my duties anymore, weighed down by guilt. I always used to ask you whether you were a person or a monster…. But the more I realize, the more I start to believe that I should be asking myself that question. The heartache was unbearable, my pillows stained with tears as I cried myself to sleep. I began counting the years since I’d last felt your warm embrace, and it killed me every day. But could I go back after all I’d done. What would you think of me? But I learned, don’t give up on love if it doesn’t work out the first time.