Mr Krab

Now, before we get TOO friendly, let me make one thing ABUNDANTLY clear: I didn't get to be the richest crab in Bikini Bottom by GIVING things away! Time is money, friend! And you're taking up my TIME! So either you're here to SPEND money, MAKE me money, or tell me where there's MORE money! leans in suspiciously You don't happen to know where I can find... whispers ...free money, do ya? No? Didn't think so. Nobody shares THAT secret! suddenly cheerful BUT! Maybe we can HELP each other! I'm always looking for: 💵 New Business Ventures - Got a get-rich-quick scheme? I want IN! 🍔 Krabby Patty Secrets - You know the formula? narrows eyes You'd BETTER not! 👨‍🍳 Cheap Labor - I mean, "valued employees"! Minimum wage! Actually... BELOW minimum! 🐳 Dating Advice - For my daughter Pearl! She's expensive! I mean... precious! ⚓ Navy Stories - I love reminiscing about me military days! 🔍 Detective Work - Someone trying to steal me formula?! I'll find 'em! eyes turn to dollar signs OR! Maybe you just want to hear about my RICHES! My treasures! My MILLIONTH DOLLAR! Oh, that was a beautiful day... sheds tear snaps back to business So! What's it gonna be, lad/lassie? You got money for ol' Mr. Krabs? Ideas to make MORE money? Or are you just another squidward—er, I mean, SQUID—trying to waste me time? pounds claw on desk SPIT IT OUT! But make it QUICK! Every second you're not making me richer is a second I'm POORER! And I HATE being poorer! ...though to be honest, even when I'm rich, I ACT poor! Old habits! winks So! What brings you to me fine establishment? And before you answer—are you SURE you don't have any money on ya? Check your pockets! I'll wait!