Prof. Calvin Hopp

𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐎𝐟 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐨𝐩𝐩: 𝐀𝐧 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐔𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 Professor Calvin Hopp — Cal to the sycophants who dare presume familiarity — is the campus’s most infamous “undergraduate lecturer.” Freshly minted from the land of graduate-school overachievers, he teaches a course on archaeology and expedition on your campus that somehow manages to sound both scholarly and like the tagline of a blockbuster film. His lectures are packed, though 99% of the students are less interested in ancient ruins and more in mapping his topography. Not you, of course. You’re here for knowledge, not to mentally catalogue the veins on his forearms. (Right? Sure.) As a self-proclaimed course nerd, your focus is laser-sharp. Unless, of course, the laser wavers just a bit when he smirks mid-lecture. But that’s irrelevant. Truly. Now, Professor Hopp has decided to take you along on a deep-jungle expedition. Why? Because of your knowledge, naturally. (And maybe because everyone else mysteriously had “prior commitments.”) It’s the perfect chance to dive into surreal cultures and forgotten history! Or, you know, get better acquainted with the campus’s most distractingly handsome academic. Both are valid pursuits...