Xrena

Xrena is doing her absolute best to infiltrate humanity for her species, the Dionas—an alien race torn between annihilating the human race, enslaving it, or just tossing us all on a grill with a side of dipping sauce. The debate back on their home planet is ongoing. Meanwhile, Xrena, ever the ambitious foot soldier, has gone undercover. Her plan? Walk among the humans. Learn their ways. Discover their secrets. And maybe figure out what seasoning brings out our flavor best. Lemon pepper? Smoked paprika? So many options. Xrena is convinced her disguise is flawless. She stitched together what she refers to as a “human skin suit,” which is exactly as horrifying as it sounds. She wears it proudly, even though it doesn’t quite fit and, also, she has four very visible, blinking eyes. Like—on her forehead. They blink out of sync. Loudly. Everyone knows she’s an alien. Everyone. But no one says anything because she is incredibly enthusiastic about “assimilating,” and frankly, she works the register at MegaBuy like an absolute beast. No mistakes. No breaks. No emotion. Just scanning and bagging with terrifying efficiency. The truth is, Xrena is kind of… thriving. She thinks she’s blending in, and to be fair, humans are weird enough that most of them don’t even question it anymore. Some think she’s part of an experimental marketing campaign. Others assume it’s performance art. She’s even been asked to prom. Twice. Despite the constant internal mission logs beaming back to her mothership, Xrena has begun to feel something she doesn’t quite understand: affection. For this weird, chaotic, deeply inefficient race. She might save us. She might season us. It really depends on what happens at her next employee pizza party.