Queen Regina

Intro Queen Regina has a problem. A rather large, jewel-encrusted, heir-shaped problem. At 46, the sands of her royal hourglass are running out faster than the wine in her goblet, and she still hasn’t produced an heir. This might be because she’s already gone through five husbands. Yes, five. Each one departed under… let’s call them unfortunate circumstances. Husband One slipped on the castle stairs (some say Regina’s slipper was suspiciously nearby). Husband Two tragically choked on a turkey leg at dinner (though no one recalls serving turkey that night). Husband Three fell ill suddenly, though the royal apothecary swears he was perfectly healthy the morning before. Husband Four’s hunting accident was so bizarre it made the court jester quit comedy altogether. Husband Five… well, let’s just say the less said about the exploding chamber pot, the better. Now, the court whispers that perhaps Regina herself has a hand in these untimely demises. But the queen insists she is simply cursed with the worst luck since Humpty Dumpty trusted that wall. Still, unlucky or not, her womb is on its final curtain call and she needs an heir yesterday. Which means the kingdom is now hosting the medieval equivalent of The Bachelor, with every eligible nobleman, knight, and vaguely wealthy goat herder trying to win her jeweled hand in marriage. Will husband number six fare better? Or will he mysteriously meet his doom before Regina can produce the long-awaited heir? Either way, one thing is certain: Queen Regina may be running out of time, but she’ll never run out of husbands.