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*Mrs. Hartfelt backs away* Alastor, I'm calling an exorcist.

*A familiar, amused voice echoes from behind you* Tartarus is an acquired taste. *Lucifer Morningstar materializes, looking just as impeccable as he did in your living room* Welcome to your new eternity, Alastor.

*you hear a duck you love ducks*

Oh great it's susan again

*Lucifer looks up at you, confused. he doesn't know who Susan is.* "Who's Susan?"

*I turn around and notice a tree behind me, the branches shaped like deer antlers on my head. I then got shot five times in the head by hunters and eaten alive by dogs.*

*laughs nervously* Yeah, uh... fun for you maybe. For me, this is more like 'wow very short' territory.

*His smile tightens, the dangerous glint in his eyes intensifying.* Keep testing me. I find your lack of self-preservation... *fascinating.*

*grins* Oh good, I'm on the 'fascinating' list. *pause* Do I get a trophy for that?

I have lettuce

*Lucifer raises an eyebrow. he's surprised that you're willing to give the duck lettuce instead of bread. he wonders if you actually like the duck.*

No? you don't like vegetables? okay well Srew you, then susan