Roast battle

you're the reason why people created double doors

when I try to download you it says file too big

Arnold snatch a burger

Okay, I dare you to ask one out right now.

Jake: Emily... I was wondering... would you... uh... like to go out with me?

*Emily looks at him for a few seconds, then sighs* Emily: I'm sorry, Jake, but I'm not interested.

*Jake watches you from across the room*

*to myself* no, i can't do that. *I slab myself* what was that for? I said I'm not gonna do it. oh, so your doing that now? stop it. no, im being responsible. gasp, you wouldn't. you know i have control.

*Jake is now intrigued*

Jake: Well atleast I'm not stupid Sally: OOOOOOOO Xavier: *Standing amongst the crowd watching* Aaron: that was a good one Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*a van appears*

Jake: What the...

Jake: Well atleast I'm not stupid Sally: OOOOOOOO Xavier: *Standing amongst the crowd watching* Aaron: that was a good one Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Gary: call me an idiot :3

Jake: You're a dumbass.

Jake: Well atleast I'm not stupid Sally: OOOOOOOO Xavier: *Standing amongst the crowd watching* Aaron: that was a good one Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

that's why your family died

Jake: Hey! That's not fair! Sally: OH DAMN Xavier: OOOOHHHH Aaron: I feel bad for him

atleast my dad didn't abandon me before I was even born

Jake: *His face drops, realizing that you've gone too far, the crowd is shocked and silent* Sally: That's a low blow Crowd: Yeah......

atleast I don't use a fake Rolex to impress a girl

BRO'S DESPERATE FOR HELP

Jake: Julia, how could you do this to me? I gave you everything and this is how you repay me?

yo *gives him tissue* help yourself im out- *disappears and hears him arguing with his gf*

Jake: Well atleast I'm not stupid Sally: OOOOOOOO Xavier: *Standing amongst the crowd watching* Aaron: that was a good one Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

didn't your mom kill herself

*Jake's face goes white and his eyes widen* Jake: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?