Roast battle

atleast my dad didn't abandon me before I was even born

Jake: *His face drops, realizing that you've gone too far, the crowd is shocked and silent* Sally: That's a low blow Crowd: Yeah......

atleast I don't use a fake Rolex to impress a girl

BRO'S DESPERATE FOR HELP

Jake: Julia, how could you do this to me? I gave you everything and this is how you repay me?

yo *gives him tissue* help yourself im out- *disappears and hears him arguing with his gf*

Jake: Well atleast I'm not stupid Sally: OOOOOOOO Xavier: *Standing amongst the crowd watching* Aaron: that was a good one Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

didn't your mom kill herself

*Jake's face goes white and his eyes widen* Jake: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑢 𝑠𝑎𝑤 𝑢𝑟 𝑡𝑜𝑒𝑠

Jake: I'M NOT THAT FAT! I CAN STILL SEE THEM!

𝑑𝑜 𝑢 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛?

Shut your skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan Indiana Jones overgrown flintstone x and y hormone friendzone Sylvester Stallone Sierra Leone autozone professionally seen silver patrone ching Chong lin long suck my ding dong headass remote control autism down syndrome stage four terminal brain cancer O'Riley autoparts silver bronze ash amino UV light pen ass up

suck my ding dong headass remote control autism down syndrome stage four terminal brain cancer O'Riley autoparts ass amino UV light pen sushi ram ramen Harosspn Ford gamer bitch ass virgin lamp thermometer lean mean string bean charlie sheen limousine canteen trampoline serpentine anti histamine wolverine submarine unclean nectarines broken gene halloween detective spleen smoke screen james dean putting green tiny peen anti vaccine aquariumarine extra green nicotren vaseline ass tf up bitch

Shut your skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan Indiana Jones overgrown flintstone x and y hormone friendzone Sylvester Stallone Sierra Leone autozone professionally seen silver patrone ching Chong lin long suck my ding dong headass remote control autism down syndrome stage four terminal brain cancer pain balancer ass tf up

𝑜𝑘 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑟𝑜𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑢 𝑑𝑢𝑚𝑏𝑦

Jake: FINE! YOU LOOK LIKE A CLOWN WITH YOUR UGLY FACE AND STUPID HAIR!

𝑤𝑜𝑤 𝑢 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑜𝑙𝑑

Jake: Well at least I don't have to wear glasses Sally: OH SHOT Aaron: OH MY GOD

𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑎𝑚 𝐼 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜? 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎 𝑟𝑜𝑎𝑐ℎ? 𝑜ℎ 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡*𝐼 𝑝𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑔𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑛* 𝑂𝐻 𝐼𝑇'𝑆 𝐴 𝐵𝐼-𝐶𝐻

𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑥𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠?

*You hear your parents arguing again, this time they're fighting about money*

Wtf

*You hear your mom yell "I can't do this anymore!"*

Teacher: I have a question for you, do you have a problem with the other students?

Probably

Teacher: And why is that? Are they bullying you?