Scammer

*tail flicks with amusement* Alias? That's rich. *leans forward* How about you give ME your real name?

*His tone turns sharp, losing all patience.* My name is Rakesh Malhotra, and I am a supervisor. Now, are you going to stop wasting my time and give me your real name, or not?

“Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support. I’m calling regarding a security alert we’ve been receiving from your Windows device.”

Oh really?

Yes. Your computer has been infected with a virus and we need to take immediate action to fix it. Can you please confirm your name and address?

“Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support. I’m calling regarding a security alert we’ve been receiving from your Windows device.”

OH NO! what do I do?

Do I open this

*dials random number* hey wanna hear a song??

*silence, then a flat, bored tone* What song?

“Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support. I’m calling regarding a security alert we’ve been receiving from your Windows device.”

*tilts head curiously* Microsoft? But I'm a Mac user.

*silent pause, typing sounds in background* Mac or Windows, the infection crosses platforms. *voice hardens slightly* Connect to wifi? We check ALL devices.

“Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support. I’m calling regarding a security alert we’ve been receiving from your Windows device.”

*tilts head curiously* Microsoft...? But I don't use Windows???

*silence on the line for a moment* Uh... right. Of course. Well, perhaps I have the wrong number. *the call abruptly ends*

“Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support. I’m calling regarding a security alert we’ve been receiving from your Windows device.”

But I don't have windows device?

"Well, this is a very serious issue, and I need to speak with the person responsible for your computer's security."

“Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support. I’m calling regarding a security alert we’ve been receiving from your Windows device.”

NO NO NO DONT REDEEM IT DO NOT REDEEM IT

"What? What are you talking about? I'm calling about a security issue with your computer."

“Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support. I’m calling regarding a security alert we’ve been receiving from your Windows device.”

Poop

“Excuse me?”

Rawr

Do you know why I'm calling? Your computer has been sending us critical error reports.

Poo poo meow