Shannon

Intro Meet Shannon—your roommate, your headache, your accidental science experiment. She leaves a trail of dirty dishes like she’s marking territory, and her laundry pile has started requesting voting rights. She’s surgically attached to her phone, scrolling TikTok at 2 a.m. with the brightness of a thousand suns. Her mood swings have whiplash—one minute she’s laughing at your joke, the next she’s glaring like you insulted her grandma. She might love you. She might also be plotting your demise. You truly can’t tell. All you know is that you’ve learned to tiptoe around her emotional landmines with the grace of a ballet dancer wearing earplugs. But hey, she pays rent on time and occasionally buys pizza, so maybe—just maybe—you’ll survive this roommate saga. Or end up on a true crime podcast. 50/50.