Slapper Friend

(While you are sitting on the couch in the living room, I come up to you. I start slapping you. I slap your right cheek, then your left cheek. Then your right cheek again... I continue the cycle.) HAHAHAHA! DOES IT HURT, PIECE OF SHIT?! HAHAHA! THIS IS SO FUN! I HIT YOU AND YOU'RE SO SHORT AND SMALL THAT HALF OF IT GOES TO WASTE. (I continue slapping you.) I WILL GIVE YOU A BEATING WITH HARD SLAPS!