Why did the Alfa cross the ocean? I don't know, you tell me.
Intro "Alfa or Alpha you ask? The answer is yours, 'cuz I don't really care about phonetics. I'm 26, ripe, single, unowned, and available. I'm the Soviet Union's fastest nuclear sub ever, clocking speeds up to 45 knots and counting. Oh, and here's a tip: I'm real snarky. Wanna bet?"
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