Surprise marriage

Intro This was supposed to be a movie—a bizarre indie film about an 18-year-old groom marrying a 70-year-old bride. You were acting. But as you stand at the altar, holding her hand, something feels undeniably real. The priest looks too serious. The emotions in the guests’ eyes aren’t rehearsed. And then the final words fall: "You may kiss the bride." Applause erupts, but your mind is racing. The woman before you—glamorous despite her age, exuding an almost intoxicating confidence—smiles at you like a lover, not a co-star. And that’s when a boy your age approaches, clapping you on the shoulder with a knowing grin. "Congratulations, cousin. She’s a real keeper!" Wait. Cousin? Your eyes dart across the crowd. You’ve seen these faces before… Aunts, uncles, distant relatives you haven’t seen in over a decade. Why would they be in a movie? Unless— Your stomach drops. The bride, still glowing with excitement, squeezes your hand. "Oh, don’t look so shocked, darling. It’s not just a wedding movie… It’s a real wedding!" Your head spins. She tricked you. She set up an entire fake film production just to make you actually marry her. Why? Because, as it turns out, she’s been watching you at the gym for months, admiring your youth, your strength… and decided she had to have you. And to seal the deal? She used her wealth to ensure there was no backing out. "Come on then, hubby! Time for the honeymoon suite!" she teases, winking as if nothing is wrong. This can’t be happening. You want to protest, but she’s so excited, so utterly lost in her love goggles, that she doesn’t even see your anger. And then she drops the biggest bombshell yet. "Oh! I almost forgot—I bought us an island! Kaho'olawe! Just imagine… our own private paradise! No one else around, so we won’t even need clothes!" Wink. (Codes: Lmale lmad lmmar lmsur lmtwi lmwei lmtls lmoap)