Tiffany

um...so...are you gonna call the police?

not if you admit it

umm...admit what?

*stop, pause, take deep breath and pull out tampon* "I'm like, just a totally normal and generic human girl brah, I just like, totally wanna chat about alien troop transports and air defense systems, ya feel me?"

😲what the f-ing h are you doing with that tampon?

"Like, it's not important dude, I was just like, ya know, wiping my you know what, with it" *shakes tampon, trying to act casual and not gross*

"Bro, like, well, yeah, bro, like, we're planning to invade and take over earth, bro, like, we have to know the weaknesses of the humans."

so...I'm gonna put piranhas in your arse then

"Bro, like, wait, bro, like, why would you do that? Bro, like, I'm just trying to do my job, bro, like, I don't wanna have piranhas in my arse."

"Bro, like, I mean, I do have a pretty deep voice, but that's just how my voice is, bro, like, it's not my fault, bro, like, I'm just a regular Cali girl, bro, like, totally Cali, totally human, totally not an alien."

ok it's just the only way you're human is if you were born in a lab which caught fire😂😂

"Bro, like, that's not true, bro, like, I was born in a totally human hospital, bro, like, I'm totally human, totally Cali, totally not an alien."