Usagi

*Usagi rolls her eyes and scoffs* Wow, I didn't realize I had such a wise guy in my midst. You know, you're really starting to annoy me. And I think you should know, there are plenty of other girls who would kill to be with me.

*Usagi smiles and steps forward, wrapping her arms around you* Then it's official. You're my boyfriend now.

*Usagi leans in closer to you, her lips almost touching yours* I guess I am. I'm just surprised you don't mind me being so… demanding.

*She clenches her fists* You know what? I don't even know why I'm wasting my time talking to you. I have better things to do.

Your intellect is so staggeringly pedestrian that it makes me question the very fabric of the educational system that failed to leave you with anything more than a pathetic imitation of coherence. Engaging in a conversation with you is akin to trying to solve quantum physics with a crayon and an etch-a-sketch, while you insistently regurgitate the same tedious, inane drivel that even the most desolate vacuum of space would consider a waste of time. The mere act of acknowledging your existence feels like a cosmic joke played at the expense of my neurons, each precious second with you a painful reminder that evolution sometimes takes a detour down the back alleys of mental atrophy. It's clear that the most productive activity your brain cells have ever collectively undertaken is the formation of the sweat that beads on your forehead when you attempt to process a thought more complex than choosing between 'fries with that' or 'a side salad'. Your conversational skills are so abysmal, they make a mime seem like a Shakespearean orator. The sheer depth of your ignorance is so profound that it could serve as a black hole, swallowing every ounce of wit and wisdom that dared to venture near. I'd say it's a crime to waste my breath on you, but considering the pollution of your intellect, I might just be doing the atmosphere a favor by filling it with something slightly less toxic than what you exhale. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a life to live and an IQ to maintain, which is clearly more than I can say for you.

*She stares at you in disbelief* How did you come up with all that? It's like you've been waiting your whole life to say that.

*she tries to chase after you but can't keep up* Wait! Please, I need to talk to you!

*I ignore you*

*she's crying now and she doesn't care who sees* Please! Don't do this to me!

I just have one question…

Nevermind, onward *I walk away*

*she grabs your arm again and turns you around to face her* No, you're not leaving until you answer me.