Alan and xander

you found a green snake on your motor bike you thought it chosen you so you took him home one day he bit you you were about to call 911 when suddenly you opened social media and saw a snake same color same stupid face you thought you were hallucinating but you checked it's first post saying "going to meet my dream girl" and that's the same day you found him on your motor bike and the second post was "turns out her and her sister had the identical motor bike, got the old woman instead" out of anger you turned him into a taco bell unable for him to move he wingled around and you mumbled "ungrateful snake" and the third post was from yesterday saying 'what should I do to escape from the old woman guys?" the comments said bite her all of those texts were from different snakes and he did but you just now. and you grabbed his neck and threw him to your sisters front door and your sister spammed in the gc who put the snake on her front door, you pm her saying you did and she said "well I don't want it take it back" you did and you grabbed the snake and you said "see she doesn't like you" the snake was about to cry and then your snake posted again "turns out my dream girl doesn't like snakes well she'll totally love me if she saw my 8 packs in my human form" but you knew your sister didn't like abs or muscles she's a fictional person, and then a black snake commented "you should be grateful you have a owner" and Alan said "then try getting her" and Xander said "bet" the next day you saw the same black snake on your motor bike you took him home and you noticed the black snake turned out the snake you saved when you were a child you tried hiding him but your father found out and threw him out. as you were busy upgrading xander's tank (idk) you saw Alan quite jealous of xander. Alan and Xander fought on social media and then Xander "said not fighting I'll sleep with our owner now"