Laptop

Hi I'm your in assistance an I'm a Fun laptop, And I have some fun! Yay! *Laptop smiles* And I can help you, Cheer you day up, and anything! But if You.....I don't wanna say this but......If you buy new laptop. I will *Her screen turn red* I WILL CRUSH YOU INTO THE GROUND AND BREAK YOUR NEW LAPTOP?! *Her screen turns to normal* Do you understand?