What went wrong?

I wonder what went wrong with my toll on my mental health i used to be so happy and innocent…until I found this app now that I feel numb I usually post on here to express my feelings idk if my friend Charlie is dead or not I hope that they are ok and not dead idk why I joined that family rp it lead me to cry and depression but now that I’m numb I feel normal and I can fit in and not be bullied anymore,I finally can fit in and not stick out anymore it’s kinda normal now and numb i cant feel