Roast battle

You look like a “before” photo. I believed in evolution until I met you. Even Bob Ross would call you a mistake. If ugly was a day, you’d be an entire year. You’re proof that God has a sense of humor. You’re the reason the divorce rate is so high. Brush your teeth before you open your mouth. Don’t you have to get a license to be that ugly? I would hit you, but that would be animal abuse. the crowd: OHHHHHHHHH!!!! Jake: i think Y/N might lose!

*she gets closer to you, with a smirk* you think you're so tough, huh? *she whispers in your ear* I've got a little surprise for you...

*eyes narrow, leaning back with a smirk* Oh please-your “surprise” probably took longer to plan than your last relationship lasted. *crowd laughs, gesturing dismissively* Let’s hear it. This better not be as disappointing as your dating history.